Hit the Reset Button: How to Rebuild Trust in Friendships

We’ve all been there. A fallout with a close friend or loved one. Maybe it was miscommunication or unmet expectations or unresolved anger – whatever caused it, now we’re in conflict. You said something you shouldn’t have, they didn’t show up when you needed them, or just someone just dropped the ball. And now, trust has taken a hit, and your relationship is on shaky ground. 

Now we’re stuck wondering – is it possible to hit the reset button? Can we really rebuild what’s been broken, especially when forgiveness feels like a mountain too high to climb?

Well, let's be real for a second. Rebuilding trust isn’t easy, but it’s possible. Forgiveness is messy. But if we look at forgiveness the way Jesus modeled it, we’ll see that it’s a process of restoration, not just a "get out of jail free" card. Forgiveness is not about letting someone off the hook; it’s about offering them a chance to heal—and offering yourself the chance to move forward, without the burden of resentment.

When we forgive, we’re saying that we are willing to bear the cost of the wrong done to us. It doesn’t excuse the wrong, but it is a decision to release the person from the debt. That’s what Jesus did for us and that’s what we are called to do for others. 

The deep truth about forgiveness—it’s costly. It’s a decision to absorb the hurt instead of letting it fester and make your relationship with that person (and others) worse. It’s releasing someone from the debt they owe you, not because they deserve it, but because you have been called to live in peace. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you pretend nothing happened—it means choosing to let go of the anger and bitterness that comes with betrayal or hurt.

But what does this look like in real life? How do we rebuild trust, especially when it feels like it’s broken beyond repair?

Look at Jesus and His friendship style. If there’s anyone who knows a thing or two about rebuilding relationships, it’s Him. Think about His relationship with Peter. This is a friendship on full display—a friendship that went through serious rough patches but was ultimately restored. Peter denied Jesus three times—after spending years walking with Him, learning from Him, and calling Him Lord. Imagine the betrayal! But Jesus didn’t throw Peter out of the circle. He didn’t say, “Nah, you messed up, you’re outta here.” Instead, after His resurrection, Jesus took Peter aside and asked him three times, “Do you love me?” (John 21:15–17). Why three times? To mirror Peter’s three denials. Jesus invited Peter back into the fold, restoring him with grace and love.

We must seek to rebuild trust through transparency, vulnerability, and honesty. Jesus didn’t ignore Peter’s betrayal, but He used it as a moment to show Peter that the relationship was still worth fighting for. Forgiveness isn’t about sweeping things under the rug; it’s about facing the truth and choosing to rebuild what was lost.

It looks like being the one to approach the person who has wronged you, or who you’ve wronged. It looks like foregoing rehashing the past to point blame, but instead making sure we’re still committed to this relationship and love each other. 

Then there's that time when Jesus forgave the woman caught in adultery (John 8:1–11). The religious leaders brought her to Jesus, ready to stone her, but He responded with wisdom, mercy, and grace. “Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.” They all walked away, and Jesus didn’t condemn her. But He didn’t leave her in her sin either. He said, “Go and sin no more.” Jesus didn’t just forgive her—He gave her a path to restoration. Forgiveness doesn’t just cover up wrongs—it also offers a way forward.

We first remind ourselves that we are not without sin and there’s a part we’ve played in the breakdown of this relationship, and so we must both agree on how we prevent this in the future and move on. In moving on, make an agreement to not use the past as a weapon when arguing. Don’t bring up something from the past to win a fight or minimize current faults. But remain on the lookout for recurring cycles that will lead to the same problems. Instead of fighting when you see old habits pop up, pray about them and commit to a relationship of honesty where we can point out blind spots in each other. 

And here's the thing: forgiveness is not a one-time event; it’s a lifestyle. It’s about deciding every day to offer grace and healing to the person who has wronged you, because forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a choice. 

So, rebuilding trust? It’s not an overnight fix. It requires a commitment to be vulnerable, to speak honestly, and to forgive deeply. It might not even be about going back to the way things were, but about finding a new way forward, built on a foundation of grace. Sometimes it even requires someone walking with you both on a journey of healing and breakthrough. That’s why at Odigia Global, our mission is to equip you with the skills and understanding to unlock that potential for restored connection. 

If Jesus can forgive, restore, and rebuild relationships with those who failed Him time and again, surely we can ask the Holy Spirit to help us extend that same grace to our friends. Rebuilding trust is a long road, but if we stay committed to forgiveness, honesty, and grace, we can hit that reset button and rebuild relationships that are stronger than ever. And sometimes, the best friendships are the ones that have been through the fire and come out even more solid.

David Grant is a founder of Odigia Global, a Personal Development Organisation committed to helping you flourish in all your relationships through guidance that works. As a Christian for over 45 years, and a husband, father and spiritual leader for almost half of his life, he is passionate about equipping, empowering and engaging you with the tools to see transformation in every area of your life. Learn more about David and Odigia here.