Is It Biblical…or Just Trendy? Discernment & Truth in the Self-Help Age

“Trust your heart”... “Live your truth” … “Put yourself first because no one else will”... “Give the energy you get if you want to protect your peace” …

Let’s talk about something that's everywhere right now: self-help. You see it in books, YouTube videos, podcasts, social media quotes and while some of it can be helpful, a lot of it is destructive. It contradicts the very life they’re promising to provide. So, if you’re like me and actually want peace, protection, joy and love, instead of the imitation version, then you need to be able to spot the truth in a world full of half-truths, opinions, and polished lies. 

So how do you tell the difference? It’s a powerful thing that’s often underplayed – discernment. 

Discernment is the ability to tell the difference between what is good and what is false or disastrous. It’s having spiritual and mental “good judgment.” Think of it like this: If you were picking apples, discernment would help you choose the ones that are sweet, ripe and good to eat and avoid the ones that are rotten or full of worms, without having to bite into each. 

In a world that is so persuasive and deceitful, how do we learn discernment? Philippians 4:8 is the blueprint.  "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."

That verse is our litmus test and everything we do must flow from understanding this. So, let’s break it down. 

1. Whatever is True 

A lot of self-help advice tells you to “follow your heart” or “trust your truth.” Sounds nice, right? But the Bible warns us that the heart can be deceptive (Jeremiah 17:9). Just because something feels true doesn’t mean it is. There is one standard, objective truth and it can be found in the Word of God. 

Hear this: your feelings are real. They show what you’re experiencing and can indicate the need for further action, but they don’t always tell the truth about the world. For example, anxiety can make you feel like you're in danger even when you're safe. That’s why you can’t let your feelings be your only guide.

Instead, line up what you’re hearing with God’s Word. Truth doesn’t change. If something contradicts what Jesus teaches, even if it sounds kind or empowering, it’s not truth.

2. Whatever is Honourable and Just

To be honourable is to be respectable, to bring dignity, not shame and to be worth admiration. To be just is to be fair, which includes resisting favouritism. So, when we’re discerning if something is good or bad, like Jesus said in Matthew 7:16, “By their fruit you will recognize them”, we need to look at what it produces.

Ask yourself:

• Does this advice lead me to build people up or tear them down?

• Does it make me love others more, or just focus on myself and my favoured few?

• Does it help me grow in patience, kindness, and self-control, or make me more selfish and proud?

  
  

Self-help that only tells you to “cut out toxic people” or “put yourself first” can sometimes be just a fancy way of avoiding forgiveness and humility. It can lead you to be unfair because you’re only focusing on your own point of view and no one else’s. Real growth usually involves love, grace, and a little discomfort. It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it.

3. Whatever is Pure and Lovely

Not every influencer, author, or speaker is worth following. Even if they have millions of followers or bestselling books, that doesn’t mean their advice lines up with God’s truth.

When you come across a piece of self-help advice, ask:

• Who is saying this?

• What do they stand for?

• Do they live what they preach?

• Are their motives pure? 

• Will the results be lovely and attractive to God?

  
  

This is kind of like looking at their credibility. Are they qualified? Are they trustworthy? Are they consistent?

Do their lives show the fruit of the Spirit — love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). If not, be careful.

4. Whatever is Commendable or Excellent

The world will try to sell you quick fixes, 10-step formulas, vision boards, expensive coaching sessions, or “manifestation” tricks. But what is good is often much simpler than that. Love God and love others. These are the greatest commandments and God only commends what is done from a heart of love. 

We know that building lifelong, simple habits like gratitude, healthy relationships, prayer, journaling, and even good sleep, go a long way to creating long-term mental and emotional health. It’s not always exciting, but it is excellent in its results. 

If advice is complicated, overly focused on self, or sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Stick with what’s simple, kind, and tested.

5. Whatever is Praiseworthy

Our lives are not about ourselves. We live to bring glory to God. And that means that the advice we follow should be the kind that puts God first. It should lead us to praise God more than we complain to Him. When we leave the presence of others, they should also want to praise God, and not complain about those hypocritical Christians. 

Psychology agrees. What we think about most affects our emotions and behaviors. If you’re constantly thinking negative, fearful, or selfish thoughts, you’ll live that way. But if your mind is filled with praiseworthy thoughts, it changes your whole life.

So when you hear advice, ask yourself:

• Does this bring peace to my mind or more stress?

• Does it help me focus on what is good and hopeful, or just make me chase more stuff?

6. Finally…

Be patient. Learning to discern truth from lies isn’t something you master overnight. It takes prayer, Bible reading, wise mentors, and time. 

So, ask the Holy Spirit for help and remember, you don’t have to figure it all out on your own. Talk to trusted Christians. Bring your questions to church or a Christian counselor. Discernment grows best in community. 

Not everything in the self-help world is bad. But we don’t just want help, we want truth. We want healing that leads us closer to Jesus, not just to a slightly better (or sometimes bitter) version of ourselves without Him.

So it’s okay to take in advice, but filter it through Philippians 4:8. Let the good stuff in, and leave the rest.

When in doubt, ask: Is this true? Is it noble? Is it right? Is it pure? Is it lovely? Is it admirable? Is it excellent or praiseworthy?

 If yes, think on it. If no, let it go.

David Grant is a founder of Odigia Global, a Personal Development Organisation committed to helping you flourish in all your relationships through guidance that works. As a Christian for over 45 years, and a husband, father and spiritual leader for almost half of his life, he is passionate about equipping, empowering and engaging you with the tools to see transformation in every area of your life. Learn more about David and Odigia here.