Building Flourishing Friendships in a Busy World - How to maintain strong friendships even when life gets hectic

Life in the 21st century? Straight madness! If we’re not careful, we find ourselves running around like headless chickens trying to do it all—work, school, family, social media, side hustles, and squeeze in a little sleep. In all the chaos, one thing that often gets left behind: friendships. We’ve all experienced it. One minute you’re talking daily and making plans every weekend, then, before you know it, the schedules are so packed that you need advanced notice to answer a phone call. Somehow, these relationships get pushed to the back burner as the busyness of life takes center stage.

So, how do you maintain these friendships when it feels like you're barely keeping your head above water? 

First off, it’s important to remember that, just like plants, good friendships can only flourish when certain conditions are met. Each friendship is different, but they all have needs. The key, here, is intention. You’ve got to take the time to figure out what makes this relationship grow. Do you bond over mutual hobbies? Do you have similar personality styles? Do you enjoy the same food? We’re not trying to build one-size-fits-all relationships, but deeply personal and deeply satisfying friendships that endure in every season. 

Before the marriage, the kids, the job or the new house, you had your friends. And even if you met them somewhere along the way, the value they bring to your life is richer than a payday bank account. If we understand that, we can’t afford to let those relationships slide. But, let's be honest, we're all busy, and no amount of trying will change that unless we make some changes in how we manage our time.

That’s why we must learn how to prioritize. Life is busy, yes. But, let’s not fool ourselves into thinking we don’t have time for what matters. If you can scroll through Instagram for an hour, you can certainly make time for a friend. You just have to be intentional. Schedule a standing date. It doesn’t need to be every day or even every week, but plan ahead to spend time together. It also doesn’t need to be for very long. Maybe you’re in a season where you can’t spend three hours on the phone or at dinner like you once did – your friends understand. A well-timed phone call or stop-over just to check in can make the world of a difference. Even if it's just to ask, "How’s your day going?". 

So, go ahead and reach out right now. Make the call or send the message and ask them about how they’re doing. Decide on a date to get together and put it on your calendar, then set some reminders leading up to it. This may involve saying no to something else, and that’s okay. We make sacrifices for the things we value. 

Now, this doesn’t mean emergencies won’t arise. Even the best laid plans can still be derailed. But what do you do when that happens? You let them know ahead of time and you don’t end the conversation until you’ve rescheduled. Rather than saying, “We’ll do this another time”, you ask, “When next are you free?”. It may take some juggling, but it keeps you committed to a goal and helps foster a friendship based on reliability. 

Then, whenever you do get together, be sure to be present. We live in a world of distractions. Our phones pinging every two seconds, our emails demanding attention, and people always asking us to "just send a quick message" that turns into a half-hour conversation. So, don’t spend what little time you have together scrolling on your phone or trying to catch up on your emails. Give them your attention, and if you feel like you can’t give them your best, then maybe consider rescheduling. 

That being said, a popular tactic to ensure we find time to flourish in our relationships is by habit-stacking. This common strategy allows you to attach desired habits or activities to previously ingrained ones, for the purpose of remaining consistent. So, maybe the next time you need to run errands for the day or get your car washed, you could take along a friend. Use the time to catch up and create memories even in the hectic moments of life. Find out if you and your friend have the same hobbies or enjoy similar kinds of exercise. Doing life together takes effort, but it is worth it when you get to the blessing of friendship to help you become the person you were meant to be. 

And finally, learn to make space for the difficult conversations. It’s tempting to let things slide when your schedule is packed, but deep, meaningful friendships thrive on vulnerability and honesty. We know that the body of Christ is meant to function as a whole. We are not supposed to be lone rangers. If you’re not willing to open up and let your friends in, how can they truly be there for you when life’s storms hit? And if you’re not willing to address and resolve conflict then how can your relationships truly flourish in all seasons of life?

There will always be busy times, but you can make space for the people who matter. Invite them into your world and into your mess. No one is looking for the perfect friend – because they are not perfect either. So, don’t let life rob you of the opportunity to nurture those friendships that bring joy and strength. When you prioritize them, they’ll help you through the chaos—and, maybe, even give you a little peace in the process.

If you’re struggling with opening up in friendships or battling something you think may be too heavy for a friend, consider reaching out to a spiritual leader or booking a coaching session with us. Let us walk with you on this journey to create the thriving, meaningful connections you deserve—because every relationship you nurture brings you closer to the life you were meant to live.

David Grant is a founder of Odigia Global, a Personal Development Organisation committed to helping you flourish in all your relationships through guidance that works. As a Christian for over 45 years, and a husband, father and spiritual leader for almost half of his life, he is passionate about equipping, empowering and engaging you with the tools to see transformation in every area of your life. Learn more about David and Odigia here.