Parenting With Perspective

What We’re Really Teaching Our Children This Christmas

Christmas has a way of revealing what shapes our homes more than we realise. Long before the wrapping paper is torn or the tree comes down, our children are already absorbing lessons. They are watching how we handle stress, how we speak to one another, how we manage expectations, and how we respond when things do not go as planned. These moments, often unnoticed by us, are quietly forming them.

Parenting during the Christmas season can feel heavy. There is pressure to create magical memories, manage tight schedules, meet emotional needs, and still keep faith at the centre. Yet Scripture reminds us that formation does not happen in grand moments alone. It happens in ordinary rhythms, repeated over time. What our children experience consistently will shape them far more than what they receive once.

The story of Jesus’ childhood offers a grounding perspective. Luke tells us that Jesus “grew in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man” (Luke 2:52). There is very little recorded about His early years, but that silence speaks volumes. Before public ministry, miracles, and sacrifice, there was family life. There were meals, conversations, obedience, correction, and care. God entrusted the formation of His Son to ordinary parents in an ordinary setting, and He still entrusts children to families today in the same way.

This Christmas, the most powerful gift we give our children may not be something they unwrap, but something they observe.

Scripture calls parents to intentionality, not perfection. Deuteronomy 6 reminds us that faith is formed as we talk, walk, rest, and rise together. “These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children” (Deuteronomy 6:6–7). The instruction is not to lecture, but to live faithfully within reach of our children’s eyes.

Many parents carry quiet guilt at the end of the year. We replay moments where patience ran thin, where distractions won, or where we missed opportunities to be fully present. Christmas can amplify that guilt, but the gospel invites us into grace, not condemnation. Parenting is stewardship, not control. We guide, nurture, and correct, but ultimately God is the One who shapes hearts.

Proverbs 22:6 is often quoted as a promise, but it is better understood as wisdom. “Start children off on the way they should go” is an invitation into consistent direction, not a guarantee of outcomes. It reminds us that what we normalise matters. What we tolerate teaches. What we model leaves an imprint.

This season is an opportunity to slow down and recalibrate. Children learn what love looks like by watching how parents speak under pressure. They learn about generosity by seeing how resources are shared. They learn faith not only through prayer, but through trust when plans change. They learn security not through excess, but through presence.

Psalm 127 reminds us that children are a heritage from the Lord. A heritage is not a possession, but a trust. That perspective shifts how we approach parenting, especially during high-pressure seasons. Instead of striving to impress, we are invited to invest. Instead of overextending, we are invited to be attentive.

Christmas does not need to be perfect to be formative. A simpler meal shared with gratitude can teach contentment. An honest apology from a parent can teach humility. A moment of prayer in uncertainty can teach dependence on God. These are the quiet lessons that last.

As the year closes, parents can ask reflective questions that shape the year ahead. What atmosphere did our home carry this year? Did our children feel safe bringing their questions and emotions? Were faith and character integrated into daily life, or reserved for special moments? These questions are not meant to accuse, but to align.

Jesus Himself grew in a home where faithfulness was practised long before it was proclaimed. In the same way, our children are being shaped now, even when we feel unseen or unsure. God is present in the ordinary, and He honours faithful stewardship.

This Christmas, let us release the pressure to perform and embrace the call to be present. The legacy we are building is not measured by how much we do, but by who our children are becoming as they watch us walk with God.

Juliet Grant is a founder of Odigia Global, a Personal Development Organisation committed to helping you flourish in all your relationships through guidance that works. As a Christian for over 45 years, and a wife, mother and spiritual leader for almost half of her life, she is passionate about equipping, empowering and engaging you with the tools to see transformation in every area of your life. Learn more about Juliet and Odigia here.