How We Fell In Love and What We’ve Learned Along the Way

My husband, David, and I met when I joined our church’s choir in 1983. Though we’d both been attending the church for many years and actually lived near each other, we didn’t become friends until those years in the choir brought us together. 

We’d ride home on the bus together from choir practice, singing songs and sharing our hearts. David started opening up to me about some difficult experiences he was handling and as I shared my thoughts, he always seemed comforted by them.

It wasn’t long before we were hanging out even more often. When David began sharing with Christian students at the Inter-School Christian Fellowship (ISCF) clubs, he invited me to tag along to minister in song, which I loved to do. We were a good team, but as far as I was concerned, David was my brother in the Lord and nothing more. 

Then, one Sunday in 1986, he asked me if I could stay back after church. We went to a nearby shop and he bought us bun and cheese and box juice. We sat and ate while we talked. When we were finished eating, he told me that he loved me. 

He must have thought I was cold as ice because I told him, “Funny enough I don't feel the same way about you." If he said anything after that, I don’t remember, because as far as I was concerned, the matter was closed. We did remain friends, though, and kept on sharing at ISCF clubs in schools.

After a while, I felt led to attend Bible school and, would you believe, when I arrived at school on the first day of the semester, David was the first face I saw. I knew that I was happy to see him, but I never stopped to think about why. 

I was seeing him almost every day now, but nothing changed. We were both focused on our studies and growing in God. About a year into our degree, though, another classmate came to express his love for me! I was bold enough to inform him that I don't like short guys. (I hope I was gracious.) Later I found out from David, that the gentleman went to him to express his love for me and David told him to let me know because as my friend, he wanted me to have the right person.

I’m not sure if it was that selflessness or my own maturity in the Lord, but about 6 months later, on a regular morning, something changed. I was sitting at my desk in class and as I looked up, in walks David. For the first time, I saw him differently. My heart sped up as he headed towards me. He picked up something that was very close to my fingers and as his fingers brushed against mine, it felt like electricity running through my hand. For the rest of the day and into that weekend, my emotions were out of sorts! I barely ate anything as I kept replaying that weird encounter. 

By the time Monday rolled around, I was such a wreck that I had to bring everything before God. I knelt and spoke to my Heavenly Father, asking Him for clarity. Then, I got ready and left for school. The first class for the day was Counseling 101, which had already begun when I got there. As I sat down to listen, I realised they were talking about love and marriage and some symptoms of love. At that moment, I knew God was answering my prayer for clarity and helping me to understand my feelings. I became settled in my heart that I was, in fact, in love with David.

Circa 1991

And of course, David recognized immediately that there was something different about me. I was withdrawn around him, nervous for the first time and wondering what I should do. 

For the entire walk to our bus stop, he asked me what was wrong. I kept repeating that I was fine, which, naturally, he didn’t believe. By the time we got to the bus stop and he asked me again, I said, "I'm in love." 

Those were the last words he expected out of my mouth. He asked, "With who? With who?" 

“With you,” I replied. 

He ran out into the middle of the street, with great excitement, raised his hand, with a fist in the air, and brought it down on his bent knee twice, while shouting “Yes! Yes!”  while I just stood there, smiling at his crazy response. 

That moment started our relationship, but we never would have gotten that far if we hadn’t prioritized a few things. 

1. Knowing God’s voice: David and I brought our feelings to the Lord separately before we told each other. I was careful to get confirmation about what I was experiencing before I told David. By the time we started dating, we were already sure that this was God’s plan because we listened for His voice. 

2. Staying in community: It was in the space of Christian community that David and I met, but it was also in that space that we matured and received the help we needed in the hard times. Community is very very important for growth and development. 

3. Getting involved in God’s purposes: We were both running hard after God. His purpose for our lives was more important than our own desires and because we were in that place of submission, our hearts were ready for what God wanted to do. 

4. Giving the relationship back to God in prayer and fasting: Because we were clear that this was a gift from God, we were intentional about dedicating this gift back to Him. That meant praying and fasting together and individually for our relationship and each other so that we could remain obedient to whatever was in store. 

5. Being prepared for the tests to come: Every relationship will be tested from time to time. We had to know that trials were coming, but also what to do in those moments.

This is what we aim to do for every couple we coach - provide the practical guidance to successfully navigate relationships for a deeply fulfilling life. Because every relationship you nurture brings you closer to the life you were meant to live.

Juliet Grant is a founder of Odigia Global, a Personal Development Organisation committed to helping you flourish in all your relationships through guidance that works. As a Christian for over 45 years, and a wife, mother and spiritual leader for almost half of her life, she is passionate about equipping, empowering and engaging you with the tools to see transformation in every area of your life.  Learn more about Juliet and Odigia here.

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